Progress

It's been almost a year since I wrote.

Alot of wonderful progress has happened.  I'm now on medication which has tremendously transformed my life. I ended up in the hospital after hitting a new rock bottom and have since been put on Seroquel for the flashbacks/insomnia and Celexa for the depression/anxiety.

I completed a 6-month time-limited therapy with a wonderful psychiatrist from the Women's College Trauma Program here in Toronto. I've balanced out and have developed great skills for coping with my symptoms. I still struggle quite a bit, but not living in crisis mode so much anymore.

I'm now seeing a new therapist which I'm quite pleased about. Back to my Bioenergetic roots. Her name is Carol Melnick and so far she's great! I'm truly happy to have found a therapist after 3 years of searching.
She says I carry alot of darkness. This is the reason I've come back to writing - to find another medium of expressing all this that I carry.

My anxiety is at bay but over the last 5 weeks, I've really struggled with depression. Feeling like a failure, very low energy, just want to sleep all day, poor concentration, unable to focus and feeling hopeless and joyless. I've learned that I have ups and downs and that nothing is static but this hopelessness and feeling like I'm never getting any better plagues me.

I've been drinking and having fun though as of late. And I finally met a guy that I enjoy being around.
Not sure if it'll be a long-term thing, but for now I"m having fun, which helps.

Yay for having fun!